don't call me Ishmael
I'm not left to tell a tale
I'm the undercover talkshow host
~
I'm the one to make you see
that what you get for free
is really worth the cost
~
and you can't beat this
you can't beat me
and you can't beat the feeling
I am here to swerve and to infect
~
I'm the one who takes you
from Bart to O.J. Simpson
from Tom to Paula Jones
but don't forget I am your friend
first we take McDonald's
and then Disneyland
~
I'm the puppet of your son
I'm the dark spots in the sun
I will get your mind off shopping lists
~
I am the sole survivor
of the thing that you call art
I'm the number of your credit card
~
you can't believe me
you can't believe
that it's not butter
meanwhile I swerve and I infect
~
I'm the one who takes you
from Walt Whitman to Walt Disney
from McDonald's to MacVeigh
but don't forget I am your friend
first we take Grand Central
then we take Graceland
~
I'm the thing that crept out of
area fifty-one
I'll make paranoia fun!
~
I'm the one who takes you
from Kasinsky to Lewinsky
from Tom to Paula Jones
but don't forget I am your friend
first we will take Macy's
and then Disneyland